A few things y’all need to know when discussing sexual assault victims, because I keep seeing that post about Project Unbreakable of male victims coming out and discussing their stories, which is great. What’s not so great is the comments section and reblog of people saying “If these were woman, we’d be supporting them!” or “You never hear about men, only woman :c” and all this other victim blaming bullshit. So here’s a few know-to’s when discussing these things:
- Don’t pin victim against victim.
- Don’t shame woman when discussing a man’s story because you hear about woman being assaulted more often.
- One of the reasons you hear men talk about it less is because people view rape, and usually rapists view rape, as a power/dominance thing. And usually femininity is considered an easily dominated thing. Hence, why men feel the shame or why some people think that men can’t be raped. Because people have this fucked up idea of power and dominance and think that only woman can/should be dominated. (Obviously this is disgusting and not true)
- It’s absolutely important for sexual assault victims to have a safe space. How the fuck are they gonna feel safe when morons like some fucking people go around being like “Wow this man is so strong! You’d probably hear about it if it was a girl because girls get all the attention :( :( :(“. No, fuck you. Don’t shame one victim to bring to light the story of another.
- People give me migraines.
So everyone, let’s say this together: “We will not shame a victim, no matter the gender, identity, or sexual orientation. We will not shame one victim to discuss another victim. We will not view femininity as a degradable or easily dominated thing. We will stop thinking as masculinity as a dominant, sex hungry thing. If someone in our lives tells us they have gone through that experience, we will support, we will understand, we will not push or shame them about their experience. We will continue to shut down this idea of shaming femininity and excusing masculinity when discussing rape and bullshit societal power structure.”
I might be missing a few points because I’m angry but there you have it. Educate yourself. If you’ve done these things before, learn. Ignorance can not be an excuse. Make the space around you a safe space.
Thanks for listening.